Esther’s Memoirs: #Tales of a single a lady

Baba Olowo and his fine son

Before me were bottles of expensive drinks

I read the labels. They had Rozay, Hennessy, Moet…

In short the table was filled with all the drinks our naija music acts have sang about

I had never seen them before except on our music videos

Once I actually thought Rozay was a car *lolz*

“What can I offer you” he asked interrupting my thoughts

His fresh face moved symmetrically with his mouth

It was a smooth as a baby’s butt (his face)

He looked money, he smelt money…*Chai* Clean old man

I didn’t want to be rude by saying ‘No’

“erm..erm…” I was confused

Then I remembered the rich britico returnees I used to work for

Whenever someone asked what they wanted, they would say “coffee please”

“Coffee please” I replied (mimicking), with a fake smile on my face

He gave me a long weird look and said “Coffee it is then”.  I wonder what was running through his mind

He motioned to the waiter who was standing not too far away- waiting in attendance

The waiter asked “ma’am how do you like your coffee, strong?”

*Ye, wahala wa o* Now I am in jeopardy

I started shaking on the inside… *Se coffee get surname again ni?*

Well I finally responded “Erm…weak …please” cos I thought strong sounded kinda hard, so erm strong drink is not my thing.  I could handle weak.

“Weak please”, I repeated

The waiter almost busted out in laughter but he quickly cautioned himself. He covered his mouth and walked away briskly.   He turned his head and glanced at me

‘Mscheww, nonsense boy boy’, I abused him in my mind.

Baba Olowo looked at me intently and then burst into an hysterical laughter

I shifted uneasily in my chair

He looked at me again and said “You know what? I like you. I like your innocence and you’re quite a funny person”

“Thank you Sir” I said with my magical girly voice *It never disappoints*

And I thought, ‘Just gimme the contract’

“Dad” an angelic male voice interrupted us.  It had a foreign accent to it

I looked to my right and before me was a creature like no other

Sheesh!  Did he escape from the cover of GQ?

Now I get the revelation of how much of a fine artist God is!

He looked at me as he walked towards his father

*Jeez! He looks so familiar - He looks like my husband!*

And nope! I didn’t stare at him, its unlady like se?  (Nah nah).  I just looked right through him; I could see his handsome internal organs (lol)

‘Son” his father said excitedly, “come, come meet a fine intelligent young lady, Esther”

He smiled at me and said “Hi”. My heart almost stopped *Jeez, he sounds like my husband too!*

I gave back my world’s best smile and nodded gently

I switched on my lady mode and batted my eyelids twice like Barbie.

He went further to stretch his hands and gave me the warmest hand shake *shudders*

His hands were softer than mine…

I put on my blush, formed shyness and made sure my eyes shone

*I grinned inside…there were lots on my mind*

*Sighs* I thought to myself, “I am not just nabbing this contract, I am also leaving here with a Boris Kodjoe look like” *Oshe!*