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Tuesday, 7 March 2017

THE APARTMENT






THE APARTMENT is where a girl will like to pitch her tent
One where she would intentionally leave her things every time she visits
One which she dreams and hopes that she has her own set of keys to
One that makes the ajebutter girl feel at home while it makes the ajepako girl feel she’s made
It is the point where some virgin personally submits her virginity…


The apartment,
Too cozy to be true
It has everything that would make you want to renounce your Pa’s and want to live in it for a long time
She enters into his apartment and her perception about him automatically changes
All of a sudden, he is rated a ten - in her head
Now he is a ‘one out of ten’ guy,  a ten in a ten million guy – in her head


The apartment
It speaks for the guy
He doesn’t need to say much
His very cozy sofa is sending clear messages to her head through her relaxed buttocks
In this apartment, she will toast herself for him in her mind.  She will also say ‘yes’, to him by herself- in her mind
The bedroom is a very comfortable sexy trap
If she dare lay on the bed in it, she’s ‘taken’

Players know the power of a killer apartment.

He will make her lunch – some killer creatively prepared noodles, veggie prepped, suya laced, barbecued chicken topped and served with a chilled glass of pineapple juice
He will watch a movie with her on his sleek flat screen as his correct sound system echoes every sound from the blockbuster
He sits there, confidently, clad in his sparkling white ‘stay at home’ T-Shirt and navy blue shorts that reveal his gym trained body. Yet, he keeps his hands to himself.
By herself, she suddenly holds him, faking that she is scared of one small scary scene in the movie that she would have laughed about if she were watching alone

Afterwards, he will say he wants to relax in his bedroom, asking if she will like to join him
Then she will say to herself and then to him: “I don’t mind taking a nap”

*Interlude*

At 7pm sharp…
She’s lying naked under the bed sheets; he’s standing by the bed side, fully dressed
He wakes her up… taps her briskly.
She mutters a few words from her sleep and stretches
With one eye open, one eye closed; one brezz out, one brezz covered
‘You’re up’ she says.
‘Yes I am’ he responds sharply. ‘I have something urgent to attend to. I need to leave now’. He says, simultaneously looking at his wristwatch.
Now he has a permanent look of ‘get in your delicates and get out of my apartment’ on his face
She gets it.
Hurriedly, she looks for her things, gets dressed and looks at his face every now and then hoping she will find the nice guy from hours ago.
He’s not there anymore. He’s been replaced.  Before her is a cold son of satan.
He walks briskly to the door, she’s in tow

Immediately she steps out, she receives sense.
Now she’s standing in front of ‘the apartment’ door, feeling cheap. Feeling like every iota of value has been humped out of her.

He gets into his car, looks out the window and asks: “Can I drop you somewhere?”
She is still confused and uncoordinated.
She says slowly: “No. I’m good”
                                                                   

Then she calls herself by name and asks: ‘What the heck just happened?’

Here’s what happened:

You’ve been made by a certified F boy.

Actually,

You’ve been made in ‘the apartment’ of a certified F boy.

You should have never, ever gone into THE APARTMENT. It’s a johnny trap. It’s a set up for impromptu jollof.






Monday, 6 March 2017

A SHIHHY EXPERIENCE






It was a big one; A big shy one.
With legs apart, hands on wall, she groaned.
But it wouldn’t respond
It was half way in, and halfway out
It’s cruel and stubborn

Friday, 24 February 2017

YOU ARE NOT HIS TYPE.







You are not his type.  I am
He likes ‘em strong, real mature, firm, fun, crazy, different, daring and sexy
Not regular, dependent, needy, girly, plastic, and ‘attention seeking’ like you
You are slim, dark, your face pretty dark, with a bland smile. You’ll need Photoshop to look good.
I am slim, fair, my face pretty fair with a very rich smile. I am a natural.

Thursday, 23 February 2017

ADAMS’ APPLE



Adams was his name.

Average height, well toned body structure (almost thick), chocolatey-dark, Half Deltan/half Crossriverean, slightly bow legged (I call it football leg).

That's how I like!

Adams - Warm, gentle, fun, caring, intelligent, has sense…

How I warmed up to Adam that I became so ‘hot’ for him, I don’t know. 

My heart betrayed me. 

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Hallos!


So I get to interview two beautiful ladies who happen to be winners of the  Esthees Awards 2013. They are: Regina and Maewo.

Regina won the ‘Babe’ category while Maewo won  the ‘Married babe still looking hot’.

MAEWO


“I believe in manicure, I believe in over dressing, I believe in pimping at leisure and wearing PINK lipstick”


Hello, hello, hellooooo..

It’s your girl Mae-wo.

REGINA ELUMOGO



Esther: What’s your beauty routine like?

Regina: My Beauty regimen may sound cliché but it has been my 'tool' to looking good for years.  It's all about SKIN CARE, HEALTHY EATING and FITNESS for me.‎    Skin Care for me is cleansing, toning and moisturizing for my everyday routine while scrubbing, steaming and masks for my weekly routine.  

Works like Magic!

 I also love using home remedy treatments every now and then to get a break from 'science'. You'll be amazed what a Banana and an Avocado mask will do for your skin.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

'Bang!' by Dasuki


"Amazing: Over 3years of Boko Haram madness and till now, NOT ONE of our so called top musicians have deemed it an issue worth talking about.       As for government...well, who cares that over 40 children have been killed while in their schools TWICE by this sect- we have more important issues like celebrating 100years of abject disappointments to focus on!" - Dasuki


Alright ladies, stop staring into Chuka’s one-in-a-million eyes and let’s concentrate on Chuka’s bang… I mean Chuka’s song ‘Bang’ *rolls eyes*.



 Esther: Tell us about 'bang'!

DASUKI: Growing up, music was the way awareness was spread. All the music that is still relevant today bore one form of message or another. Unfortunately making such music seems to have become a lost art- and the reason isn’t too far to see.  

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

She’s looking for DADDY. Are you DADDY?


Some woman is looking for her father, another is looking for someone who is not like her father, while some other woman is looking for ‘a father’.  It’s just that 'how' they search is different.  Anyway, 'she' calls him ‘Daddy’.


It’s not really about her insatiable craving for sex
Also, if you look deep within, it’s not only about the money

For HER, it’s about ‘that moment’ in sex
That moment when you hold HER like you will never let go
When you hold HER like you will always need HER
Like she is the most important thing and person to you- at that moment
‘That’ - makes HER feel special

Friday, 14 February 2014

14 Gifts you can give to your spouse this Valentine



Gifts for Women


Gift 12: Spa Gift or Bath things (plus bath robe or Towel and Body care)


Give a spa treat by booking her for a session in a lovely spa or you could both go together- if you don’t mind. 

Or you could just bring the ‘spa’ to her…


9 Ways to Propose On Valentine's Day


If you feel that you are ready to propose to your sweetheart you won't think of any better day than Valentine’s Day. This particular day is devoted to lovers and romance. Thus a Valentine’s Day proposal is the dream of every woman and will ensure you hear an enthusiastic “yes”! Here are a few ideas that will help you to create a romantic Valentine’s Day proposal:
  1. Cook and surprise her with a romantic dinner for two. With use of a ribbon, tie the engagement ring to the stem of a glass of champagne.

14 Gifts you can to give to your partner this Valentine



Gifts for Women

 

Gift 8: A Designer Wristwatch


The key thing is that, this wristwatch has to be a very good one and of good quality. 


Thursday, 13 February 2014

Affordable Valentine Specials


Valentine is tomorrow. 

You love your woman and want to give her a treat, but at the moment you don’t have the financial resource to do as much as you would like to do.  And you wouldn't  like to give her or treat her to something below average even though you would really love to show and prove to her how much she means to you. 

You can still do this. 

I have listed below ‘Affordable Val Treats’. I believe it is the gesture behind valentine that matters and not just the gift. Your woman, if understanding will appreciate your gesture.

1.       Food Experience:  Do home made dinner.  A good tip for couples looking for a little romance is to stay home.  Make the effort to cook a remarkable meal, open a fine bottle of wine (you won’t pay the restaurant mark-up), and cuddle with your honey for free. 

Tuesday, 11 February 2014