Baba Olowo and his fine son
Before
me were bottles of expensive drinks
I
read the labels. They had Rozay, Hennessy, Moet…
In
short the table was filled with all the drinks our naija music acts have sang about
I
had never seen them before except on our music videos
Once
I actually thought Rozay was a car *lolz*
“What
can I offer you” he asked interrupting my thoughts
His
fresh face moved symmetrically with his mouth
It
was a smooth as a baby’s butt (his face)
He
looked money, he smelt money…*Chai* Clean
old man
I
didn’t want to be rude by saying ‘No’
“erm..erm…”
I was confused
Then
I remembered the rich britico returnees
I used to work for
Whenever
someone asked what they wanted, they would say “coffee please”
“Coffee
please” I replied (mimicking), with a fake smile on my face
He
gave me a long weird look and said “Coffee it is then”. I wonder what was running through his mind
He
motioned to the waiter who was standing not too far away- waiting in attendance
The
waiter asked “ma’am how do you like your coffee, strong?”
*Ye, wahala wa o* Now I am in jeopardy
I
started shaking on the inside… *Se coffee get surname again ni?*
Well
I finally responded “Erm…weak …please” cos I thought strong sounded kinda hard,
so erm strong drink is not my thing. I
could handle weak.
“Weak
please”, I repeated
The
waiter almost busted out in laughter but he quickly cautioned himself. He
covered his mouth and walked away briskly.
He turned his head and glanced at me
‘Mscheww, nonsense boy boy’, I abused him
in my mind.
Baba
Olowo looked at me intently and then burst into an hysterical laughter
I
shifted uneasily in my chair
He
looked at me again and said “You know what? I like you. I like your innocence
and you’re quite a funny person”
“Thank
you Sir” I said with my magical girly voice *It never disappoints*
And
I thought, ‘Just gimme the contract’
“Dad”
an angelic male voice interrupted us. It
had a foreign accent to it
I
looked to my right and before me was a creature like no other
Sheesh! Did he escape from the cover of GQ?
Now
I get the revelation of how much of a fine artist God is!
He
looked at me as he walked towards his father
*Jeez!
He looks so familiar - He looks like my husband!*
And
nope! I didn’t stare at him, its unlady like se? (Nah nah).
I just looked right through him; I could see his handsome internal
organs (lol)
‘Son”
his father said excitedly, “come, come meet a fine intelligent young lady,
Esther”
He
smiled at me and said “Hi”. My heart almost stopped *Jeez, he sounds like my
husband too!*
I
gave back my world’s best smile and nodded gently
I
switched on my lady mode and batted my eyelids twice like Barbie.
He
went further to stretch his hands and gave me the warmest hand shake *shudders*
His
hands were softer than mine…
I
put on my blush, formed shyness and made sure my eyes shone
*I
grinned inside…there were lots on my mind*
*Sighs*
I thought to myself, “I am not just nabbing this contract, I am also leaving
here with a Boris Kodjoe look like” *Oshe!*
